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| Friday, August 05, 2005
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my week
well its friday so let me give you a quick summary of my week.
sunday: crazy sore from the open gym session in GA, slept in and didn't go to chuch cause I didnt get back home from GA till 6am, slept a lot that day,
mon: somehow my body was feeling even worse today two days after the workout hahaha. Work was okay I guess, can't wait till I get another job.
tue: work again, and thats all i can remember LOL
wed: started to download a lot of bleach anime again, gotta burn them to cd's, walked for an hr at the park before work
thur: no work today so it was great! watched reruns of ER I love that show, went out to the movies to see "kicking and screaming" with a friend of my mom's. Umm not sure if I can call it a date, mabey it was, but from my side i'm just friends, I'm not interested in here cause I just don't have that spark. She's cool though, in good shape, kinda on the skinny side but in good shape, realy smart cause she's about to get her masters degree, and hey she suggested we go to the movies so she has a good taste lol just kidding hehe. open gym at night right after the movie and the session was crappy haha. my body was still recovering from the workout saturday LOL, the same muscles were starting to ache. But it wasn't a total loss cause I had fun with my tricking buddies and my bboy buddy, i attempted another standing full and crashed it great haha, figured out how to do hyper hooks cause even though I can hyper fine i usually fall when i hook, and i did a gainer from a backwards cartwheel. after the session I planned on going home to chill but my bboy pal mark and his friend suggested going to get some pizza. oh man the pizza was great at the buffet but i felt bad cause I had ate healthy all day and I felt guilty haha.
fri: today I got up early and went to go do some walking and jogging which felt great haha even though my legs will be sore later. I took some pictures of myself right after my jog cause I was all sweaty and had a lot of water out of my body hehe so i actually looked buff and had some definition, illusion though haha it'll be a few months before I look like that normally.just ate breakfast and i'm about to shave and shower, then I gotta pack my lunch and then walk....yes i said WALK to work. My car has been dead for like a month or so and Brandon has had to walk to work a lot. And it sucks in general to have to do it but sucks even more when its super hot. But luckily I've saved up enough cash and my car is going to get fixed and back to me sunday, yessssssssss!!!!!!!
well time to get ready for work, sucks hahahaha. peace | | | |
| Sunday, July 31, 2005
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my great weekend!!!
well first off work friday was cool, course i was still kinda in a crappy mood and you'll know why if you read the previous blog. At work my mom called me and said she got the job she applied for and I was so happy. I was thanking God so much, and the rest of the day my mood was so much higher and I was happy. After I got home and congradulated I got my stuff ready to go to GA with my friend rob. Me and him left and went on our road trip. It was cool to meet up with teeboi again, haven't hung out with him in a few months. saturday met up at the awesome SEGA gym and had a dirty south tricks session with bama being represented with our friend Pat, TN of course by me and rob, and GA by kalman, stephen, marcel(injured), tee, and other buddies we met up with for the first time or second time. We tricked for about 5 hrs I think, lots of fun. I made a little progress and worked on a few new things. Afterwards we all went out to eat a Fudruckers, love that place. I'm so mad I didn't get a burger, stupid mistake! Later we went to go see the Bad News Bears movie. That movie was so funny.We all acted so silly and a fool in the restarant and theater hahaaha so much fun, I need to move there so bad! I feel that is were I belong. Then afterwards me, rob, and tee got lost trying to find tee's house. haha we were lost for like an hr and I kept suggesting lets just get on the interstate and find the exit back to tee's house, and after tons of wrong turns and wrong guesses hahaha, finally we got on the interstate and made our way back. Then back to TN. Sunday I woke up so sore hahaha, neck, triceps, shoulders,back, ankle, knees, glutes all sore hahahaha.
And after talking with mom it seems like my move to Georgia is probably gonna have to be extended from a 6 month plan to a 1 yr plan, just to play it safe because I need to get another job that pays well and save a whole lot of cash, then of course find a job there in the marietta and kennesaw area. omg the women in GA are so hot, way hotter then they are here. hahaha none of the girls i've liked or went out with that live here are as hot as the women i saw down in GA hahaha, it must be the water. I mean in freaking walmart I saw lots of females that were so hot and totally my type. of course getting them to notice me and actually like me is a whole other level which well up till now is almost nothing but hehe i'll deal with that when I have to, if i still have any faith in relationships and love, but I can still enjoy the eye candy in the time being hah! Mom is so happy that she has a new job and she's gotta move in like a month, which means my car needs to be fixed and a great check up so that its in great running condition cause I have to help her move and I can't afford for it not to run well. I always liked chattanooga and its cool my mom will be there. Its going to be so awesome having my car fixed!!!! its been a long time since i've had my own car.
Oh and since my mom is getting a new job and moving, and i had a second interview at the job i'm trying to get(please God bless me to get it) cause well.......................I'M GONNA HAVE MY OWN HOUSE HAHAHAHA YESSSSSS! Basically it would be stupid for me to go rent an apartment since i'm at home and mom is leaving. First off i can save tons of cash, secondly umm duh its my own house!!!!! So I'm pretty happy, and I'm praying that I can continue my training, and actually step it up more with my martial arts, and time at the open gym and other stuff. Cause I need to be ready for the national level for tricks, forms, demonstrations, etc for next year for CLN in march. It gives me 8 months. I gotta get in the best shape of my life which means more training,smarter training, access to good facilities i need, better nutritian, and loosing weight like 20lbs. but as i said before I'M GOING TO HAVE MY OWN HOUSE!!!!!
Alright it's time for bed and then work. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................. | | | |
| Saturday, July 23, 2005
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my life sucks....but i'm happy cause I have a solution!!!!! Current mood: ecstatic
I was driving around talking on the phone with my friend Tee boi. He's from Georgia and we were talking about life, the ups and downs, etc. And he said he was moving back to his home town, and another one of our friends is moving back. Then I said "man i wanna move to Georgia" and both of us got so excited. Either living by myself or rooming with my boy tee, whatever, it all sounds good. Basically what I need to do is get my car fixed, get out of debt, and save some cash and I'm gone to GA. Basically there is nothing holding me back here at home.
lets list what I have here: boring lame town, no great martial art school to train at, an open gym available only mabey once a week, no friends who are serious about training for naska/tricks/entertainment industry, a very undiverse area, no girl friend baggage, no great job, i'm done with college(for now), nothing great.
now for Georgia in the area i'd be moving too: fun area, good martial art schools to train at and many different styles to get involved in if i choose to, an open gym available multiple times a week cause one of my friends works there and has a key and my friends trains there who are very serious, some of the best competitors on naska/tricks in the country, lots of different places available for work, if i choose to go back to school down there i'm surrounded by many great schools, haha lets be shallow too hehe there is a much larger population and with that you have many many young beautiful cuties down there hahaha, the girls in Georgia look a lot better there then they do here hahaha ohhhhhh so wrong LOL.
Alright as you can tell I was very bias on the way I described the pros and cons of my home and the area in Georgia imma be moving to but hey this is my blog so I can do what I want haha. Basically for my goals in martial arts, athleticism, competing on naska, entertainment industry, Georgia is a wonderful place to live. and I "will" be moving there hopefully near the end of this year or beginning of next year. But it won't be long. First off its only like 3-4 hrs from where I live so we're not talking as if its across the country. plus i visit there to train with my friends many times a year anyway. Not to mention where I live I have a lot of things that aggrivate me here, some bad memories, some people here that I really don't like and don't care to see, almost no opportunities here, and no one here that i've met who is special enough that i've fallen or even fallen in love with. I mean I prayed that my life would totally turn around for the better on new years eve and honestly this would definantly help to make that happen. I'm very happy now cause I'm very motivated to work super hard, save up cash, get out of debt, my car fixed, look and find a job down in GA, a place to live down there hopefully with roomates with some of my best buddies, and leaving all the negative emotional baggage I got here, and starting my life over. yesssssssss!!!!!! | | | |
| yeah so my life sucks
alright i know there are people out there in the world who have worst problems and frustrations then me and I acknowledge that. But I'm not them and they are not me so I only have my own life and currently I'm not happy about much in my life. Now of course personally i'm a happy go lucky guy, i'm kinda quite at times, a deep thinker, i got a pretty spontaneous quick witt about myself and i'll crack jokes and make people laugh and many times i make myself laugh, i just laugh a lot honestly. I exercises and keep my body in decent shape, eat a pretty good diet but it could be alot better. Got a few good friends in my life, got a great mom who has always been the one to care for me and teach me. but just cause i may look happy doesn' tmean deep down that I really am. honestly my life is unfulfilling at every aspect of it, and I honestly mean that.
yeah so these are some crappy things in my life so far: in debt, got a broken car and i haven't had the money to fix it for a while now and hopefully i will in a few weeks which will drain all my cash, graduated college and my life is crap, got two degrees and nothing to show for it or any positives or rewards for getting them, realizing that i'm stupid for not picking a "smart" major in college, don't have much of a social life, hardly get to hang with my friends, not able to train in a martial arts school consistently, only get one day a week to train in a open gym gymanstics place, not happy with my appreance or my weight, not happy with my current athletic abilites, of course i'm single for a while now and I never get any attention or anything and honestly my life reflects the saying "nice guys finish last", I"m a good hearted person and nice to everyone and i respect people and don't treat or want to treat women like objects and yet I have nothing positive that comes with that life style, i realize the people who aren't so nice and don't have great morals get the most in life and have the most fun, have living in my town and just the state in general I wish i lived in cali with my friends, can't train as hard as I wish i could, i have lots of friends who are into martial arts and competing as I am but they have more opportunities then I do and that frustrates me cause I have the same passion and sometimes more so but I sitll have to walk a harder path, i haven't been able to go to one tournament this year and watch, wasn't able to go to the loopkicks camp in cali which sucks, of course not getting to have a vacation this summer cause I never get to have vacations, i've had two vacations in my life once in 85 and another in 99, pissed that the types of females i'm attracted to don't like me back or even notice me but thats fine cause i pretty much gave up on the idea of me finding love and love finding me or heck me even getting into a serious meaningfull relationship and I don't think the woman of my dreams exist(if you wanna know just read the who i'd like to meet section on my page), mom stresses me out cause the most important person in my life doesn't care about my goals or dreams that involve martial arts and things that branch off from it, i see everyone else living the type of lives and having the opportunities i wish i had, pissed cause the last half of 2004 was really shitty for me and so far the first half of 2005 has been crappy as well, i could keep going but basically everything in my life is not where i want it to be and i'm not doing what i wish i was or achieving success and skills at the level or speed i wish i was. I"ve noticed that even though i'm mostly a cool/calm/collected person and i'm a "nice guy" and I live a "good mora life" that honestly I haven't really had much of any positive feedback and returns for living this way. Its like being a good person, treating others well, going to college, staying out of trouble, training hard all has equaled almost nothing good or great in my life. I've become a very cynacle person and my sarcasm has rissen too. Seems like the only time i'm happy is when I don't focus on my life, or i'm training, other than that most stuff sucks. | | |
| people use the word "LOVE" so loosely.......
I was watching some real world episodes and from watching the way people were acting that went on the show and had significant others back home, that people use the word LOVE too loosely. at least to me I think so. For example this one girl said she had her boyfriend back home and loved him but as soon as she got to the real world house she was showing off and flirting like crazy and saying she needed to get laid. Then another girl on the show was trying so hard to meet guys and then one guy she liked she found out was trying to use her and had a girlfriend, so she calls up her boyfriend back home and tells him she loves him, etc, etc.
these are just some of the many examples that people use that word so loose. Now if you read my previous blogs I myself don't really believe i'll find love but thats another matter. I kinda get tired of seeing and hearing people say how they love this person and that person and cheat on them or people that go from one relationship to another and they use the word LOVE so each time. Like on shows like the real world or in real life you'll see someone who is in love with someone, then they break up and they are with someone else soon afterwards and then the LOVE world creeps in, and the cycle just repeats. I don't know mabey i'm naiive in believing love is something sacred and the most special and deep of all emotions, that people can't fall in love that quick. The same goes for people who are in extremely long term serious relationships or engaged or married and they still lust like crazy for other people, will cheat, or whatever. I say to myself are they really in love?
Mabey I'm weird cause when I really like someone and have feelings for them everyone else just kinda fades away. Like the way I know that I really like a girl is that all other females just don't seem to attract me as much. I notice that females that i'd usually go nuts over i don't really care for as much, even famous celebrity females or girls you'd see in music videos I don't really care as much for when I really have feelings for someone. I guess thats why i've never ever cheated or played games on anyone. If I like someone I like "them", and if I don't I just don't. I think people should take their time before they confess their love for each other. In my opinion if you would cheat on someone you don't love them or you got some issues, if you are constantly lusting for other people i'm not sure if you love them, and I don't think people who go from relationship to relationship one after another constantly trully understand love. I think that if you constantly find yourself in a relationship with someone and then you are with someone else then another then how can you really experience love cause its more like someone who just doesn't want to be alone and wants to feel special and wanted.
I was watching that show Cheaters on tv and so many people who got caught cheating first thing they said was i'm so sorry and i love you, blah blah, etc. It was so messed up and hurtful. Also for people who are supposedly in love with someone and then they breakup and immediately they are doing tons of flirting, dating, or doing it with someone soon, I question if that person was really in love with their ex. If you were really in love with someone an the relationship ended, then wouldn't you be hurting and how could you just find a new body that quick?
oh well i'm just rambling after watching the Real World and that show Cheaters. | | |
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